When you think of the word fear it usually creates an image of scary clowns or drowning or running for your life. It is that, but so much more. Fear can motivate you and demotivate you. It can cause a person to jump from a burning building, stand in front of a person holding a gun to your family, or just make you change your lifestyle.
I have a fear. Well, I have many fears, but my main one is that I will not be around to enjoy my family. I fear that I will die at an early age because of my unhealthy decisions. I have been overweight for more than half of my life. I have not taken care of myself and now, I can not even climb up 1 flight of stairs without huffing and puffing and feeling like I am dying. I am scared. I fear for my life.
I have had many fears before. I have jumped into the Gulf and was not a very good swimmer (ya...it was a dare), I held 2 live grenades and was informed if I dropped them I would die (gotta love the Army), one of my daughters had several seizures, and I have been in a couple of wrecks... this is just to name a few. But these fears do not compare to the fear of not being able to see my grandchildren and great grandchildren. Of not being able to hold them and play with them. My in laws are constantly on the go with their grandkids. They take them to the mall or the park or the RenFaire. This is what I want.
So why am I lamenting about fear? What am I going to do about it? I am changing my life. I am taking control of my life. For too long I have been miserable and I have wallowed in it, not getting out of it, just digging myself deeper.
I am about to do the Bariatric Sleeve procedure. This is the first step in getting back my life. No, it is not a magic bullet. It is a major change in lifestyle, from eating to exercise to happiness. I feel that I will become a whole new person. No longer will I have to fill myself up, but now I will eat to my needs. Exercise will come easier without the weight dragging me down. My health will become priority and my life will become mine. I look forward to having my life be what it should be.
