Home"ing" My Hoardy House

Home"ing"? What the heck is that? In my definition it is my house becoming a home. I am a Packrat. I come from a family of hoarders. My Packratness is becoming hoarding and is quickly destroying my house. Our health and happiness are getting sick. We can't invite anyone over due to the mess. Our cats are making potty messes due to the C.H.A.O.S. (Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrome). I hate coming home. To me it isn't a home. It's just a stinky, messy, cluttered house. My inlaws don't even want to come over. It is quite depressing.

So what am I going to do? Sit here and whine? NO!!! For one I am going to reread Sink Reflections. Fly lady has wonderful ways of getting rid of C.H.A.O.S. I am going to get rid of half my house! Yes....that's a promise. I am going to document and make myself accountable for de - hoarding my home. I think a challenge or something of the sort can help. More to come!!

Wordless Wednesday

Wordless Wednesday.... ok, so there are some words with this...but right now this is how I'm feeling!!

Fattie to Foodie

Food has been a massive part of my life. From the time I was born till now. No, I’m not talking about the normal "eat for survival". Let me explain. When I was born I was very very sick. I was part of a multiple birth. The other babies were in one sack and I was under them in another. Needless to say they received all of the nutrients before me. Unfortunately they all died at 3 months gestation. When I was born I had yellow jaundice, bronchial pneumonia and most of my organs were not working properly. The doctors sent me home to die. They told my mom to make me comfortable. Thankfully my mom is a very ornery and stubborn. She proceeded to feed me every hour on the hour until 6 months later *POW* my organs started working right, and I went from looking like a sickly china doll (yes, I was still yellow) to a chubby Cabbage Patch/ Michelin Man. I never stopped eating. I grew up with an older brother and with Boy Scouts, so eating was constant. I was the little sister that had to prove she was part of the group. I was also a heavy emotional eater. I hated myself. I wore glasses (when they were not cool), I was bigger than most kids (not just chub but by muscle). The emotional eating has stuck with me; although I am a whole lot better...ish. I went into the Army straight from high school and ate any food given, even unwanted food from my buddies. So I have uber eaten from birth through a divorce, a new marriage (to my soul mate!!), 4 births and 2 miscarriages, my eldest daughter nearly destroying our lives and well, just life in general. Always in large amounts and ALWAYS so very hungry.

 

So why have I written this? Well, that part is the "FATTIE" part of my life, of my past. My future? I am going to be a "FOODIE"!!

 

A "FOODIE"?! Isn’t that someone that eats?! Well yes... but not for the "I gotta eat everything on my plate PLUS everyone else’s" reason. My idea of a "FOODIE" is someone that enjoys food and more importantly the flavor of that food. I have eaten so much food, but have I ever truly enjoyed it? Do I really know the flavor? Do I have to really eat 5 cups of fried rice to enjoy the flavor? NO!!! 1 cup can show me how the taste can explode in my mouth. With this surgery I truly believe that now I can enjoy food. I am excited about how I will be able to explore the many flavors that the world of food has to offer! Gone are the days of shoveling and here are the days of tasting!!

 

Motivational Fear

When you think of the word fear it usually creates an image of scary clowns or drowning or running for your life. It is that, but so much more. Fear can motivate you and demotivate you. It can cause a person to jump from a burning building, stand in front of a person holding a gun to your family, or just make you change your lifestyle.

I have a fear. Well, I have many fears, but my main one is that I will not be around to enjoy my family. I fear that I will die at an early age because of my unhealthy decisions. I have been overweight for more than half of my life. I have not taken care of myself and now, I can not even climb up 1 flight of stairs without huffing and puffing and feeling like I am dying. I am scared. I fear for my life.

I have had many fears before. I have jumped into the Gulf and was not a very good swimmer (ya...it was a dare), I held 2 live grenades and was informed if I dropped them I would die (gotta love the Army), one of my daughters had several seizures, and I have been in a couple of wrecks... this is just to name a few. But these fears do not compare to the fear of not being able to see my grandchildren and great grandchildren. Of not being able to hold them and play with them. My in laws are constantly on the go with their grandkids. They take them to the mall or the park or the RenFaire. This is what I want.

So why am I lamenting about fear? What am I going to do about it? I am changing my life. I am taking control of my life. For too long I have been miserable and I have wallowed in it, not getting out of it, just digging myself deeper.

I am about to do the Bariatric Sleeve procedure. This is the first step in getting back my life. No, it is not a magic bullet. It is a major change in lifestyle, from eating to exercise to happiness. I feel that I will become a whole new person. No longer will I have to fill myself up, but now I will eat to  my needs. Exercise will come easier without the weight dragging me down. My health will become priority and my life will become mine. I look forward to having my life be what it should be.

Working Our Way to The Land Of Milk and Honey

What is Financial Peace? Being able to pay for anything with cash only? Having no debt? Creating a future for yourself and your family?

The answer? YES to all!

My husband and I have been taking the Dave Ramsey Financial Peace class and we have had such an eye opener. It has been heartbreaking at the same time. We are more in debt than we realized. We do not have any credit cards, but our main debt is medical. We also have realized that we are not leaving a future for our children. We have been creating a financial nightmare for them. We now know what our future will be... debt free and grandchildren fun ready!

For anyone that has not taken his class before, I plead with you to take it! It does not make a difference how old you are. Our 2 teens are going through his teen class. They are amazed at what they are learning. This will help them create a debt free and secure future.

Taking this class has given us a second chance at a happier future. I am so grateful that our church decided to have it. It happened at the right time in our life.

Wordless Wednesday

I have seen many other Bloggers do a "Wordless Wednesday", and I love the idea. I think what I might try to do is create a theme or word for the day and see what I can accomplish. To start out simple, I think today shall be....

Breathtaking

* Just a note* My mother-in-law took these pictures while driving to Brady, Texas. The fields are quite beautiful driving in the country.

Midlife meaning of blah

Midlife Crisis is a term coined in 1965 by Elliott Jaques and is significant for a time in which adults come to realize their own mortality and how much time is left in their lives.
 
Most people change everything in their lives. Some try to get back their wild and free 20 year old ways. Some create a whole new identity and life.

Me? I wasn't quite wild and free in my 20's. I had my first child by 20 and 2 years later had my 2nd. 2 years after that I was divorced, but was blessed to find my soul mate afterward.

No. I do not want to go back to those years. I do not want to drastically change my appearance and life.

I guess you could say I am not quite having a midlife crisis as much as I am having a midlife blah blah.

I do want to change who I am. I am not happy with me. I love my husband and my 4 children and our home (well I would like to remodel a lot of my home).

Nope, I am unhappy with how I have grown. I want to change that.

Why am I telling you this? Perhaps this is my way of having my midlife blah blah and being able to change myself for the better.

I have tried a couple of other blogs, but was unmotivated to finish or work on them.  I am ready to start my new chapter and become the woman my family believes I am/ can be.

Welcome! I hope that this blog can maybe help you if you are having a midlife blah blah, too.